CHEAT DAY #1

     It's 6:37 a.m. and I just put my Sourdough Banana Bread in the oven. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but my sourdough starter is going on two months old, so it's pretty much the best starter in the world. I woke up super early this morning for many reasons: 1) Seyo has this new obsession with attacking my non moving eyelashes when I'm asleep. She beats me in the face with her stubby little paws, crams her nose in my eye socket, and takes her sandpaper tongue over the softest part of my eyelids. Needless to say, this wakes me up every flippin' morning around 4 a.m. 2) It's cheat day, and I wanted to get a head start on wrapping my mind around the awesomeness that will take place. 3) I had to pee, and I mean it was one of those bladder crippling needs. The good thing about this diet is my husband and I are drinking about a gallon of water a day. Apparently this morning, I had to pee out a gallon and a half.

     So, as I stumble into the bathroom, I notice that I feel a little different. Ladies know this feeling, and ladies love this feeling. It's that feeling of, "Whoooooaaaaaaaa, I wanna get on the scale!!!!!!" Never ever ever ever ever does that happen, men, but when it does, you best get to steppin'. There are mornings I wake up and feel like I am so bloated that I could put the Michelin Man out of business. And then there are days when it feels I just did weighted squats to get my hefty butt out of the bed, but not this morning. This morning was a "I don't feel my skin folding on itself" morning. I ripped off my 4XL Alabama Jersey (my nightgown) and looked in the mirror. I like what I see, people!!! My tummy was flat-ish. Well, it was flatter. But I guess that's not saying much; it was more like my stomach was a fully inflated balloon, and now it's not so inflated. Anyway, I run across my room resembling an Olympic gymnast and jump on the scale. Those two pounds I talked about yesterday -> GONE, SUCKER...AND THEY TOOK AN EXTRA TWO POUNDS WITH IT!!!

    That averages out to a two pound weight loss in two weeks: let's celebrate with cake!!! I need to give a huge shout out to my husband who is down twenty pounds in three weeks. He, like me, will spend the day destroying this accomplishment. My husband was asleep when I was doing the victory dance on the scale, but as I was dancing, I realized that I was in front of an open window in the buff, and a feeling swept over me. You'd think it'd be, "Oh snap, move, Abigail." I couldn't appreciate the humor of the situation because a worrisome feeling entered my soul, "Uhhhh, results on a cheat day? What should I do?" As much as I want to relish in deep fried foods, I feel void of want now. What if I can't step up to the plate? (No pun intended...hahahahhahahahahahahaha). I feel that my cheat day may not be as epic as I want because I don't want to jinx the upcoming week. I feel good right now. Stupid scale with good numbers on it. Anyway, I guess you can tell that since I did hop up and make a loaf of bread that some damage will be done, but notice, I only made one loaf...I had intended to make two. My conscience is already taking over my mind.

    Okay, I'll tune in throughout the day and update everyone on what my first cheat day entails.

6:59 a.m. -> The one rule is that I have to start my day with at least 40 grams of protein. I had half a can of chicken because I couldn't bare to look at an egg white right now. No gagging on cheat day!!! That's not the full 40 grams, but I'm just not hungry right now. I refuse to eat when it's not needed or wanted (this will be the only time today that I mutter those words).

8:02 a.m. -> Coffee...beautiful, creamy colored, sweetened coffee. My "will I cheat on cheat day?" anxiety is leaving me one sip at a time...

I've been drinking my coffee black, something I hate. Adding my cream and sugar is only something my mother can truly appreciate.

8:28 a.m. -> I got really excited about the bread. I sliced the first half and made it all pretty, but then I was like, "Forget this, homie," and I dumped some more on my plate. Just took my first bite: shut up!

I ate mine, and then I ate Reuben's...I'm not gonna lie, I'm feelin' a little queasy. It's too early in the cheat day for that nonsense.

9:32 a.m. -> I just threw up involuntarily, of course. Cheat Day 1, Abigail 0.

3:30 p.m. -> Okay, I'd say that I have successfully recovered since this morning. I think my body was freaking out a little bit when I shoved all the deliciousness in it at once. I felt a little questionable during church, so it didn't take much to talk me out of the breakfast buffet at Mitchell's. We took a nice ride to Camp Casey and found many wonderful treats over there. 

Anyone who lives in Korea knows how dangerous this bag is. Tapioca Doughnut Sticks....ahhhh...

Buffalo Chicken Sammie and Cheese Fries, those who know me know that I would never eat this on any given day. Well, that's the beauty of cheat day :)

My best friend chowing down on his cheat day treat.

After all of this food, I'm actually feeling really good. On the way home, I killed a bag of Cracker Jacks and then some Peanut M&Ms. I've not had those two items in about five years or so. Life is good...

6:24 p.m. -> I just got up from a nap and went straight to the fridge for some cake!

The Pinterest introduced me to the Fudgy Peanut Butter Icebox Cake. Uhhh, I didn't really care for it. You can see how much I made, and you can see how much I ate. This dessert was a little too sweet for this girl, and that's saying a lot. Super easy to make so go ahead and try it yourself :)

7:32 p.m. -> Okay, I've pretty much had it with the sweets today. Pizza time!!!

Demolished half of it...no regrets

11:54 p.m. -> I have six minutes left to this fabulous day and two syllables come to mind:

     Alrighty, cheat day number one has come and gone. I'm not gonna lie; I think I over did it. I definitely satisfied all of my cravings for the next month or two, so next Saturday shouldn't be near as exciting. Today, I literally ate because I could, even if I didn't want it, I ate it. My belly is full and head is swimming. Now, only one more thing before I say goodnight...