Food is one of my favorite topics ever. This should not come as a surprise to anyone. Something that I absolutely love about me is that I have absolutely no food standards at all which leads to always having extreme enjoyment when dining. I am definitely not to be confused with these haughty-taughty food critics that claim angels sing because they just ate the insides of a twenty year aged snail drizzled in blood of a blue eyed virgin. Nope, not this girl. I'm not saying that I'll eat whatever you pull out of your couch cushions right now (I will if it's in a wrapper), but my taste buds definitely have no standards. Wa-la...food happiness all the time.
However, I do restrict myself like crazy, but only when company is present. I will do my oh-this-is-so-amazing-you-just-have-to-try-this dance in my chair every time I eat a plate of broccoli because I truly enjoy it that much. But if I took the chance to order what I wanted instead of what I feel that I should have, I'd venture to say that someone would have to pull me off the top of the table!! So, why, Abigail, do you restrict yourself and deny yourself a simple enjoyment? I dunno. I'm scared, I guess. With this easy breezy food enjoyment, I also have food anxiety. For those who know me are probably thinking, "Yeah, okay, Abigail, I've seen you eat, and you restrict yourself from food as well as Charlie Sheen restricts himself from dollar beer night, middle school girls, or headlines." I know, I know, but that's the food anxiety kicking in. There are those of us who get so nervous around buffets, covered dishes, holiday dinners, and get togethers that we over indulge. So even though you just saw me scarf down anything that doesn't require a fork (brownies, mini quiches, cheese cubes, chips, cookies, fruit, spaghetti...I promise you don't need a fork for spaghetti) that was still me restricting myself. If you could only see what I really wanted!!! Such as pulling up a chair to the buffett table and going to town. "Hey, if I'm going to "mess up," I'm going to "mess up" big time!!" It doesn't have to be that way...
It's safe to say that I have an unhealthy relationship with food. Food is my go to for all things happy and all things sad...and all things sleepy...and all things bored...and all things angry...and the list goes on and on. I can't ever eat to satisfy a hunger; there always seems to be some hidden agenda to it. But today's focus is on the over indulging and how to avoid it, it's easy. It's called EAT WHAT YOU WANT. What? That's crazy? Eat what I want? Pffffftttt! No, seriously, eat what you want and you'll finally be satisfied. That's how everything else in life works, right? "I want snow..." Bam...there's fourteen inches. Fourteen inches is amazing on that first day, but then what happens Haywood County residents? By the end of the week, we're using a whole lotta four letter adjectives when yelling at the newly settled golf ball sized flakes that have intentions of barricading us in our homes, forcing us to exercise every option of entertainment from books to board games to dressing our cats like the flying apes in The Wizard of Oz (what? don't judge me). My point, too much snow!
Do you want that doughnut? Well, you can't have it because it's mine...and that one too...just go get your own. Okay, now that you have your own, you can enjoy it. Don't inhale it, experience the pleasure it has to offer. If you sit and eat a dozen, you're either going to enter a diabetic coma, or just not feel so well (not me, I have no limit when it comes to this deep fried glazed wonder). That's because you just got too much of a good thing. But eating just one when you want just one is legal. No stupid little size negative calorie cop, who I'll probably call a skank later, will jump out from the doughnut case and force you to do lunges around the store while waving a sign that reads "Forgive me, I'm human." If you're telling yourself that you shouldn't eat a doughnut every day, I promise that as time goes on, you'll grow use to it and want it less. And if you're still unsure of this method, try this: it's just food! That's all. It doesn't have to get so complicated. There are women out there who in thirty minutes can get ready for work, pack their kids' lunches, sign report cards, walk the dog, pay the cable bill, do a load of laundry-dishes-bullcrap, make the beds, diffuse a massive argument about who-touched-who first, kiss their husband goodbye, and that's all before eight a.m. However, these same women will stare at their child's left over grilled cheese and gummy snacks for forty-five minutes before making a move...scared to eat just one bite...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I went to Whitman's Bakery with my sister today, and I got a little anxious because I didn't know if I could trust myself ordering. Even though I wanted to tell them to give me the entire left side of the menu times four, minus the date bars, I got an eclair. Yep, one eclair, and I let myself enjoy it. I was satisfied; I didn't feel like a food sinner. The eclair was not the forbidden fruit. I didn't introduce the world to sin, nor did I go up four sizes in my jeans. I allowed myself to have a relaxing moment with my sister over a pastry...no anxiety welcomed!!! And because I didn't treat it as a complicated how-many-miles-will-I-have-to-run situation, it wasn't. If you want it, then eat it, but here's the difficult part, shut up! Don't ruin the experience with a guilt trip. You can't go back in time and undo something that is stupidly innocent. So, with that being said, I believe I want something from the kitchen...hmmm...coffee...with full fat creamer...and I'm gonna get it!
Now, the topic of food will be covered in too many posts; yeah, too many. Food shouldn't get that much attention, but I just have way too many opinions about how women look at food, and since my opinion beats all, you shall hear it!
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