The Secret is Out: Wish Us Luck!

There have been speculations about my recent weight gain and everyone is looking at Reuben and me, like..."Well...do y'all have any news to tell us?" Yes...yes, I do. You guessed it. I've been training for a marathon.

Monday 22, 2013: I totally vowed that I was going to wake up and get a quick workout accomplished. I did ten pushups and ten squats....ehhh. I also said I was going to leave on time (7:00 a.m.) for work, but it's now 6:36 a.m., my clothes are in the dryer, I'm waiting for my straightener to heat up, I'm sipping my coffee, my belly is grumbling, and Seyo is slamming herself into my legs....sweet girl. I just need to take a minute to write out my jitters. I have the marathon butterfly doubts. Those stupid little butterflies that instead of making me feel happy, they bring questionable thoughts. Go away, little butterflies. It's only Monday...you've got all week to talk this girl out of it.

Tuesday 23, 2013: I had a nightmare; this is what it entailed. I was given a college math final for grad school, please note that I have not had, nor do I have to have a single math class for this degree, and it was around five pages long. There was math, phonics stories for kindergarten, and article reviews, Zumba music was playing in the background, and I was wearing my running clothes, which in my dream, as well as my reality, are way too tight these days. My classmates finished within minutes, and I had no idea what I was suppose to do. I was running around some unknown campus trying to find a teacher to help me when I realized that the race had started, so now I'm hauling butt to the starting line, exhausting myself before I should with a math test in hand. My multiple worlds collided in a dream that lasted all night long...I never finished the test.

Wednesday 24, 2013: You know what's delicious? Egg whites scrambled with fat-free cottage cheese. You know what's not delicious? The intense pain in my knee. Last year when I ran the half marathon, I almost stopped at mile ten because my knee decided to emulate labor pains, if that's possible...I dunno. Two weeks ago, I ran fifteen miles with a little knee pain presenting itself near the end, so I thought I had made progress. I only ran ten miles this past Sunday and have not been running this week, which is not suggested by most runners, but I'm not a runner so "I'lldowhattawant!" My knee was aching yesterday, so I did what all adults do, ignored it. Today, it really started to hurt, but I thought that was just me psyching myself to feel something to question my run on Saturday, that is until I had to brace myself on a kindergartener not to fall over. Now, I've gotta go teach Zumba, but that's okay. Zumba does no wrong. Pppppplllllleeeeeaaaaassseeeee, knee, hold in there for another few days.

Thursday 25, 2013: I've got that "watering under the tongue" feeling/sensation goin' on right now. Blaque. I could vomit. No, it's not my nerves; it's the result of what I thought was awesome news. I was told today that I should carb load two days before the race, not the day before. I was basically given permission to kill myself by carbs, and so I did. I'm too embarrassed to share the damage that was done, but if me finding a pizza that has whole potato wedges as the topping can give you one clue as to what I did tonight, then you can imagine what went on from there. I think, for the first time in a long time, I'm full.
11:39 p.m. I just ate another slice of pizza.

Friday 26, 2013: Tomorrow's the big day. I think it's a blessing that I don't have to go to work today. I've got all day to do my homework and rest the body. I'm super sore because I accidentally worked out Tues, Wed, and Thurs...not the best idea. This time tomorrow, we'll be halfway through the race. On an even better note, I finished the pizza!
5:10 p.m. I've eaten even more pizza...I got another one, and now I'm watching weight loss transformation videos via the YouTube. These pump my motivation juices into high gear.
10:21 p.m. Well, it's about that time to say goodnight!

Saturday 27, 2013: I've had this day marked on my calendar since August, and here it is. This morning I just feel kind of numb. I keep telling myself that I'm just about to do another long run. If that was the case, my hands wouldn't be shaking out of nervousness. Anyway, here we go, and yes, Reuben is running it with me. No, he hasn't trained like I have been, but he's a boy and blessed with the ability to just be able to do things sans preparation. The race begins at 7:00 a.m., an hour and twenty minutes from right now, so I should be finished by noon by the very latest. My goal is to finish, to simply finish. Wish us luck!!

After the first few weeks of training, I started to take some pictures of my journey. This is from February 12, 2013, 5:45 a.m. I just finished a 6 mile run:

(Look, mom, the scarf you made proved worthy of Korea coldness!!)

Saturday 27, 2013, 5:45 a.m.: 

Operation Pants No Touch Butt!

     It's April...and in typical Abigail fashion, you can guess what went out the window: resolutions. Why do I even bother writing a post about resolutions? I don't only write the resolution post, but I do it with gusto. Like, I am tearing up the keyboard with my war paint and Rambo bandana with Italian opera blasting in the background...those do not relate, but for some reason they get me super excited!! I was actually doing really well. I got cocky enough to write a blog post about my success. But what comes with success? Total doom and destruction and sabotage and bread and cellulite and tight pants and tears. I was in denial for awhile; I thought, "Hey, I can get back on the wagon." No, Abigail, no you cannot, not unless there is a forklift around the corner.
     It's April...and in typical Abigail fashion, you can guess what my next step was: making erroneous blames. I blamed everything from the weather "bringin' me down, man" to making myself believe that working out more required more calories...1000 more calories to be exact. I would workout and find comfort in a recovery meal. Recovery meals are essential to replenish nutrients, electrolytes, and complex carbs: these heal the muscles. Let me introduce you to my recovery meals:

Chocolate Chip Cookies: this is my go to recovery meal. Wheat, eggs, antioxidants from the chocolate...it's legit.

Korean Rice Balls of heaven. I love these. I don't know what they are, I don't ask questions, I just chew and swallow and smile and celebrate their existence.

This picture was saved as muffin. I literally sat here trying to remember when I took a picture of me shirtless. Muffin as in food, Abigail, not your saggy fat bags.

So yeah, those are my recovery meals. Dang it! What just happened to my font. This is why I need to switch to videos. But I'm too technically disadvantaged to do that. I can't even figure out what just happened to my font for crying outloud...blogger!!!! If it publishes normally, I'm not even going back to take this paragraph out. I'm too sleepy to be professional. You can partake in my creative woes. Oh well, I'll just run with it...run...ha! I'd just eat it if I could. Anyway...can you see a pattern in the food choices. I was justifying these!!!

     It's April...and in typical Abigail fashion, you can guess what sent me over the edge: THESE FREAKIN' PANTS. I first wore these pants my first year of teaching. I remember the first time I wore them was on the day of the writing test, and I was excited that I could fit into them, but I was still pretty self-conscious of the stripes. I was two months into Weight Watchers, and those were my goal pants. After awhile, they became my weigh-in pants. These pants defined my weight loss. There was a magical time when I could take them out of the drier, and they would be lose around my butt! When does that happen? Never! So why in the world did I put them on this week? Let's review, shall we: (I have no idea what is about to happen to the format of this blog...wish me luck)

At first, it looks okay, until you take a closer look...

POCKET OUTLINES!!! Once upon a time, these hung off of me, and now I'm sporting my back pockets. I didn't even know these had back pockets! Utterly disgusted. (It's hard to see in the top picture, but c'mon, they are so obvious in the second one.)

My thighs are suffocating. I had to be careful about bending down. My kinders were all like, "Tie my shoe!" And I was like, "Hide my crack!" Oh my...I just...what...laskdhvur'oaniwpg (keyboard vomit).

There's the money shot! What is going on here? My thighs developed their own assortment of cracks. They look like sausages...tightly packed sausages. Sausage...yyyuuummmm. The pain that would occur around my midsection from sitting was ridiculous. I was severing my insides. I had a permanent ring around my tummy an hour after taking these off.

     It's April...and in typical Abigail fashion, you can guess what I am vowing: to get my act together. I know, roll your eyes and wwwwoooooosssssaaaahhhhhh because we all know I say this once a week. But I'll have you know that's why I started this blog in the first place, to share my thoughts and frustrations on this topic because I know I'm not the only one who is constantly yo-yo-ing (<- is that a real verb?) between healthy and unhealthy lifestyles. I'm talkin' as in I literally yo-yo in an hour. The other day I ran six miles, and then I drove straight to the donut store and bought six donuts. And then I ate them...all...with no Reuben help...because I didn't offer him any. So yeah, here we go...back on the bandwagon. Operation PANTS NO TOUCH BUTT begins today!