Fat Girl+Half Marathon = In Your Face!!!

     This post was unplanned, but right around mile 8, I thought, "I need to write this down." About a month ago, or longer actually, I saw a sign for a half/full marathon scheduled for April 28. I made a mental note that I was serious about training for this event. My training included my regularly scheduled Zumba classes, oreos, the occasional glance a treadmill, thinking really hard about running...like really hard, like hard enough to take a break from all the thinking, drinking a few beers brewed at our favorite spots, Kindle reading, season watching, and cookie baking. Yeah, that's what I did with my time. There was a whole Saturday that we did not leave the bed due to intense internet usage; we do it up right.
     Over Spring Break, we did go to Jeju Island, and while we were there, we walked every where!!! Since we felt so accomplished from all of our walking, we felt like we earned our Taco Bell, Burger King, McDonalds, and other goodies. Jeju behavior did make me super guilty, and out of nowhere, I got the running mentality. That was about two weeks ago. I woke up almost every morning, as did my supportive husband, and we pounded the pavement. If I missed my morning run, I'd do it when I got home from work. Five days of running equalled 20 miles accomplished. I felt great!! But I do need to throw in there that I totally dismissed the idea of running a race. I literally forgot about it. So, this past Monday, my boss from the gym gives me HUGE signs to take to the next post. That was God doing what he does best; giving me a sign...literally. I made my mind at that moment that I really did need to run the race that Saturday. Back to training for the race; I had five days to get ready for it. I ate a lot of gummy bears; I think there was pizza in the mix somewhere, and wine, yeah, wine was definitely a part of the training regimen. Thursday was the first day that I said something about the race to my husband, and he gave me a blank stare. What's mine is his, and that includes my personal obligations that I am no where ready for.
    I woke up this morning excited to run; my husband, indifferent. On our way there, I was still really pumped; I had my Ipod, I ate a great breakfast, I didn't have to pee too terribly...I was ready. And then we get there...
     Have you ever been in a place where you are literally the minority not because of age, race, ethnicity, language, or gender...? Well, fatty shows up in her cotton clothing to run a race. I'm looking at all of these soldiers or straight up runners, and felt like I stood out like an oversized doughnut in the produce isle. I didn't care; I was still pumped. They go over the safety briefing. Rule number one: no music. Are you freaking kidding me? I never run without music; I can't do it. That's like seeing Kristin Stewart smile; it just doesn't happen. I felt a little uneasy about this, but I understood. My husband is not a music runner, so he was cool with it, but he did see me panic.
     We line up to take off, and I kid you not!!!! When we first start, we were the last two runners...for about a mile. I thought to myself, "I'm literally going to get last place." I realized that everyone was jazzed because they were all cool in their neon running shoes, shorty short shorts, and mesh tops, and that's why they were able to take off so quickly. Note to self: buy all of those items so I can be a better runner. My husband, the runner, said that my pace was just fine, and little by little, we were passing people. The weather was great, my husband was beside me, and then we get to mile 8. Mile 8 was up a never ending hill. Give me some credit here, I use to run in Haywood County regularly, so hills were never a problem. But this hill was never ending, and it lasted for over a mile. I had to slow down, pitch a fit, give the stink eye to those coming down the hill, and press on. ICE COLD GATORADE was at the top; a secret all of the down hill people didn't share. Not us, we were screaming it on our way downhill; those five people behind us had a right to know!!!
     With my husband by my side, we finished the race. I did have to stop and stretch because I thought my knee cap fell off, but other than that, we finished. My knees and my hips felt awful. I guess that's why people actually train with running instead of oreo eating, who knew? I know people joke all the time about saying that they would come in last place in a race, and I am proud to say that I didn't come in last, but second to last!!! I was literally the second to last female to finish the race. But you know what? I finished. Fatty in her cotton clothing actually completed the race.
      This wasn't my first half marathon, but it was the one that I felt most proud for accomplishing (hahaha, it's only my second). One, it showed me once again how amazing my husband is who ran beside me the entire time when he could have taken off any time he wanted; two, I followed through with a goal that I kinda forgot that I had in the first place; three, there weren't that many people there, but we were. I'm not a runner; I'm not fit; I've got jiggle everywhere; I don't own a mesh top; my thighs rub together all of the time, especially today, but dang it, we were there. We had to go to the store after the race, and I looked around at all of the people who could have been there but weren't. They didn't look like death, though; they looked happy and carefree. I, however, looked terrible, but I didn't care!
     We came home, limped our way inside, and celebrated the fact that we spent such a special morning together. It filled me with so much appreciation that I have the ability to accomplish a goal of this nature, and a husband who is literally by my side helping me do it. Like others, I spend the majority of my time doubting my ability to do something. But if everyone who thought they couldn't do something just showed up, they'd finish.
      I hurt; I took Advil, ate an apple, drank a beer in the shower, and now I'm just plain proud. Fatty showed up and finished a race; she finished....

    Our, "Hey, thanks for showing up," medals. But again, WE have them!

My oh so wonderful husband...too cool for his medal. Not me, though!!!!

Welcome to My Fridge

     Be proud of of me because I am jumping straight to the point on this post. I know, that almost seems eerie. I usually start off with some random story that relates to the post that I had in mind to write, but I get so caught up in my amazing story that I spend too much time telling you that I never get to the point at hand. This problem results in having no one reading my words while they ponder on how in the world I was ever a teacher of English to students. Well, I'll have you know that I am a firm believer of "do as I say, not as I do." I'm allowed to write however I want to which usually entails misspelled words, grammatical errors, something offense to some random reader, a sexual innuendo that only my mind can catch because I'm just so gosh-darn clever, and one or twenty reminders that I'm fat and jiggly. Throw in a anecdote about my new cat and some shout outs to my amazing hubby, and you have the formula of Abigail writing. But as I said, I'm getting straight to the point on this post, no randomness here. One, because that's the mature and responsible thing to do; and two, because I already wrote this one some time ago, but I needed to attach the photos. I need to put that last disclaimer because my husband is going to look at these pics and think...ummmm, no. Here we go...

     As promised, I said that I would write a post about the contents of refrigerator. Lately, I've been a big fan of eating everything in site, and that's okay when this is what you see:

     
Isn't that just lovely. Everything is nice and clean and accessible. And my ability to capture such an image with my Iphone should win me some kind of award. I know it's a far shot, so let's break it down by the shelves.

As you can see, I have my produce clean, cut up, and ready to go at a moments notice. I can't tell you how much I love to snack, and when I do, this is an easy go to. In order to save money, I buy the real stuff. I don't buy precut anything; why pay for what you can do yourself? I call this the Rachel Ray method. She always has her items in the fridge where she can make an entire meal in thirty minutes. Just sayin'....it works. I hate doing it, I do, but when I come home from the gym, and I'm ready to munch, I am more likely to steam that broccoli that you see because it's ready for the steamer. You may also notice that I have fat free Mayo and fake butter...yep. And don't forget my baking soda box keeping everything "so fresh and so clean clean."

Moving on:

Ahhhh, that red liquid you see is Red Grapefruit Crystal Light, and our fridge has it at all times. Our water intake has sky rocketed since my husband introduced this to our household. Best flavor ever! It also tastes amazing with Mango Malibu Rum....aaaannnyyywwwaayyy. You'll see to the right that I am very well stocked on fat free cottage cheese. It is crazy high in protein, crazy low in WW points, and a must-stock-up-on-item because the commissary doesn't always have it. Up top, we have Polaners Fiber Plus Preserves, I like to stir that in my cottage cheese...yummy sweet treat! Our soda of choice is the one and only Coke Zero. Hiding by the Polaner is Yoplait Greek Yogurt. If you have not jumped on the Greek yogurt band wagon, punch yourself in the face, and then go buy some. Eggs, how do I put this? I'm obsessed with eggs, like really. I eat them every chance I get, but only the egg whites, I do not touch the yellow. Not because it's bad for you, but because I think they taste like butt. The grapes are in a bowl, washed, and ready to go. Once again, I'll reach for those first because they are not hiding in a drawer like my size four shorts.

Speaking of drawers:

Not much to see here. My back up carrots that I'll cut up later, and the most delicious apples ever: fuji! I eat an apple every day of my life, and I never go to the doctor!! That has more to do with my fear of a doctor asking me to stand on a scale; I get sick all the time, but I still don't go, no thanks to the apple!!!!

Ahhh, the bottom drawer: we don't eat bread, but we'll tear up some whole wheat pitas (2 WW pts). Turkey bacon (1-2 WW pts) and Fat Free Hebrew National Hotdogs (1 WW pt) are the only two meats in the fridge; they are each high in protein, low in fat, and amazing in my mouth. And we can't forget the Kraft Singles (1 WW pt) because they go amazing with the egg white and the bacon shoved in a pita that I eat every morning for breakfast. 

Freezer time:

Okay, you can see that I am hoarding pitas. You can't trust a commissary; you must get it while they have it!!! Another go to item that I love is more broccoli; this brand has individual steam pouches. I can pack it for lunch to steam in the microwave or fix it as a quick side with supper. Frozen natural berries are a must as well. Thaw them, Spelnda them, and eat them, no points = yes please!

The stack of red boxes is Boca Burgers!!!! If the currency system failed and switched over to bartering Bocas...I'd own you. We also have Morning Star Crumbs, Chix Strips, and Sausage Patties on hand at all times. Soy products are filled with protein, and if you use them correctly, like smothering them in cheese, sauce, or fat, they are quite yummy. My husband is a big fan of Bocas and the Morning Star Sausage Patties; I was super surprised that he was willing to try it, but he approves. 

So back to present day, which is today, you'll notice that I have very little processed food and a whole lotta fruit and veggies. It's hard to make a bad decision when you don't keep bad decisions in the house. My fridge kind of looks like that right now, but a little different. When my husband is home, I keep celery cut up like the carrots because that is his go-to veggie. I also keep segmented oranges on hand. In the freezer, we have a lot more real meat, but just chicken really. And ice trays!!!! That was a new and recent purchase, one we are satisfied with. I'm proud to say that our fridge is still pretty free of overly processed foods. I mean, c'mon, I know some of the items are, but I have to give us some mad props for keeping it like this. My next post will show you how I pack my lunches...riveting I know...that's about as exciting Ben Stein reading the dictionary. But, keep in mind, these are techniques that keep my belly full and my weight down. Happy fridge organizing!!!

 

My Fat, Being Me, Is Here To Stay

Well, hello there...how long it has been. I know, I know, I act like it's anyone else's fault that it has been so long since I have posted, but it is!!!!!! It's Seyo's! Who may that be? Well, it's my new little girly, girl. I am pleased to introduce to you Professor Cat-Seyo Microwave Newton. She's a little bit awesome, and a lot bit evil, but we'll keep her.

Yes, I go to pet her, and this is how she responds...meat, she wants meat. I watched Cujo the other night and realized that she exhibits the same behavior of a rabid dog, but again, she's all mine!

Anyway, let me get you caught up with my life before I go on to talk about what this blog was intended for. First of all, I feel super guilty that it has been so long, so for all of my five readers, thank you for hanging in there. And, of course, the only reason that I am sitting down at this hour to throw down a few words is because I woke up with the intention of working out. I mean really, Abigail, the only time you finally wake up successfully at 4:45 a.m., and you have managed to find a way to distract yourself. It's a talent, it really is. I am going to go ahead and warn you that this post will have nothing to do with what I usually focus on; this is just a reminder that I have not eaten myself into a coma...there have been a few times, though. I was concerned, but I fought through because dessert was offered. 

So, in the weeks that have passed, this is what's up:

My husband is home!!!! And he's gorgeous...what????? Lucky me!!!!

I have a new demon! Oh, wait, cat...demon...cat...demon...cat...umm, we're still trying to figure it out.

I am still teaching Zumba, and I'm getting my groove back. 

I'm drinking coffee right now. 

I understand pinterest, and my self esteem has never been lower. 

I now teach Pre K instead of Kindergarten...I now understand wine is not an option, but a must. 

I am training for a half marathon by running a mile every other week. (Hey, I'm serious when I train)

I fell off a bike yesterday and skinned my knee like whoa. 

I just realized that skint is not a word when I tried to say that I skint my knee.

I am currently typing this sentence instead of doing burpies. 

My fat is here to stay, and I'm starting to cope with that. 

I have a new belly roll; I'm considering the name Gert for it. 

I am still not cussing but realizing that I call everything a whore...maybe I should put that on the cuss word list.

I'm watching my husband eat cheerios...they smell delicious. 

I did watch The Hunger Games while eating and felt guilty for showing off. 

My cat is standing on the counter with that "I dare you to knock me off" look.

Korea has this thing called Yellow Dust; I believe it was invented by Afrin because I am now an Afrin abuser....like mother, like daughter. 

I busted my shin yesterday riding a bike.

I just emailed myself photos off of my phone for my next blog post that I will do in a timely manner. 

I have decided I want to be a body builder. 

I rode a bike yesterday for the first time since middle school: that first fall (the knee) happened ten seconds into the ride, and I took out a small Korean boy during it. (Can you tell I'm a little shaken by my bike ride.)

My husband was seen with me in public yesterday while his wife was riding bike like she needed to be issued a DUI...he's a good man.

I rode a bike!

Anyway, that's Abigail in a nutshell. I'm sure other things have been taking place, but again, this is just a reminder that I exist. Just so you know, though, I do have my next post planned, and it will be completely Abigail-being-obsessed-with -calories-relevant. Now, if you don't mind, I have successfully used all of my workout time....dab the sweat, dab the sweat....so I should be getting ready for work. I have added a picture of Seyo to make your day that much better.

Seriously, Seyo, can you try to look lovable?