Disclaimer: This post is not intended to anyone directly, nor is it meant to be offensive in anyway. I'm just bein' me, which is always a risk...
I didn't get Facebook until 2011, and the only reason I did was because Reuben went to Korea and that was our way of "chatting." I didn't have a smartphone at the time, and my technological knowledge of communication was limited to sending an email. Facebook is an amazing thing. I always refer to as THE Facebook, just as I say THE Wal-Mart or THE Pinterest. But now that I have it, I get kind of aggravated when people don't. I blame it on my overwhelming dependence on all things convenient.
I don't need to tell you that people use Facebook for different things. There are plenty of memes out there that highlight the various types of Facebook users. The hilarity of these memes resonates with individuals on personal levels, making them that much more enjoyable. I'm sure there is a category, or multiple categories, that I could fall under, but I know there are even more that I wouldn't. Facebook is not my diary, my billboard, my personal public service announcement tool, nor is it my Jerry Springer stage. It's simply my way of staying in touch.
However, I do have the want to post something every single day. I purposely don't because I know I'm not that interesting, sometimes what I want to say is offensive, and I don't have a twitter account aiding my ability of throwing around hashtags. I present to you a month of stifled Facebook posts. And since I am not a member of THE twitter, I made up my own hashtag titles, ones that I feel are applicable to the subject at hand. AAAAnnnnddddd, here we go...
October 1, 2013
Made the mistake of styling a small "bump-it-ish" poof in my hair on the same day I wore a skirt...I was Pentecostal for a day.
#ilikebigbumpitsandicannotlie
October 2, 2013
I'm so proud of my art kiddos! I found a print online, and they replicated it beautifully. They still have no idea I'm clueless...but maybe I'm not...hmm...learning about myself.
#etsypleasedontsueme
October 3, 2013
Long weekend...just a few more hours until a long weekend...you can do it!
#winesolvesproblems
October 4, 2013
Today was hard. I'm really missing my husband.
#whotakesthetrashout
October 5, 2013
Fabulous run today! It's amazing how good it feels when I'm not running in the soul sucking oppressive heat.
#longlivebloodysocks
October 6, 2013
That moment you read that your final paper was due Saturday at midnight, not tonight by midnight...
#gradschoolwoes
October 7, 2013
My goof in class after reading about an African tribe's penalty they put in place during a trial:
Me: "Yes, luckily we don't have 'cutting off genitals' in our penal system."
Students: (Wide eyes, pointing fingers, and laughter explodes).
Me: "No pun was intended, y'all...no pun."
#thingsfallapartinenglishtwo
October 8, 2013
I'm so full; I'm gonna have a food baby and name it Regret.
#healthylivinghypocrite
October 9, 2013
I taught another awesome Zumba tonight, but you know what's weird? I'm the only white girl. No joke...literally, the only white girl in the room of 20+ women. "They gonna learn somethin' today!"
#whitegirlgotskilzyo
October 10, 2013
Skype is a blessing!
#hottietoohottiehusbandfaceadmiringtime
October 11, 2013
I'm just sayin' that if they sold alcohol at high school football games, you would find a bunch of little southern schools' athletic departments in the Forbes Magazine. Go Eagles!
#highschoolfootballkeepsmesober
October 12, 2013
Apparently, you can do a burnout on an Exmark.
#blackmarksonthedriveway
October 13, 2013
If you see me running downhill, you can bet your butt that I already ran up it.
#wokeupfromanaptodothisrunsomakeitworthit
October 14, 2013
True story: I assigned my students a creative writing activity, a fable. One student had two main characters: Toke-It and Nigga. To the office that paper went. Later that week...
Student: You just think it says that 'cause I'm black.
Me: No, I think it says that because that's what you spelled.
#icantmakethisstuffupifitried
October 15, 2013
Halloween candy in bulk = weakness. C'mon, willpower, carry me through!
#maryjanepeanutbuttertaffyisamazingeverydaysoshutyourmouthandhanditover
October 16, 2013
A student cut off two of his fingers in shop today. But luckily, he was wearing his safety glasses.
#putitonice
October 17, 2013
1118 calories burned after a 6 mile run and a 1 hour Zumba class instructed by moi. Now, if there's a way I could do that everyday...
#endorphinsaremyfriend
October 18, 2013
I'm no fun without my husband.
#feelingpitiful
October 19, 2013
"I'm all caught up on grading!"
#saidnoteacherever
October 20, 2013
Today, I met a woman who lost 143lbs. For dinner, I had pizza and chocolate. Abigail, where's the disconnect?
#ieatmyfeelings
October 21, 2013
I came home to find that Seyo removed the doorstops from the wall. I'm not sure what beef she had with them, but she made her point clear.
#forsomethingsosmallshetakesupsomuchroom
October 22, 2013
I went to the local yogurt shop where I can add my own toppings and whatnot. I was in there for thirty minutes. You'd think I was deciding the fate of the world with how meticulous I was being.
#kitkatsandpeanutbuttercupsandgranolaandtoffeeandoreosandcookiedoughandcheesecakeaaannndd
October 23, 2013
I had my first physical therapy appointment for my hips today. After pulling, yanking, tugging, twisting, stretching, pushing, holding, thumping, he concluded that he had no idea what it could be. Great...
#mymilkshakebringsallthepaintomyhips
October 24, 2013
Ummm, the only thing I understand about the "BitStrip" trend going on right now is that I don't understand the "BitStrip" trend.
#apptrendsequalheckyes
October 25, 2013
Talking with a friend at Wendys prior to the football game...
Me: Oh my gosh, I don't want a salad. I want a baked potato and some chili. Or that grilled chicken looks really good. I had a salad for lunch, so I definitely don't want one. I've not had a burger in a long time. You like the flatbread, yeah? Maybe I'll try that. Hmmmm.
Cashier: What can I get for you?
Me: May I please have a salad?...actually, make that half a salad.
#ipretendsaladsmakemehappy
October 26, 2013
(My Ipod tells me I have over 900 songs.)
Me: (I put my Ipod on shuffle.)
Ipod: (I will play the same 40 songs over and over again, making sure they are only the slow songs, Zumba songs, and none of your recently synchronized songs.)
#spicegirlsnumberoneforeva
October 27, 2013
Ask yourself, "Did I take/post more than one selfie today?" If the answer is yes, please go buy a mirror.
#iforgetwhatilooklike
October 28, 2013
There's nothing like waking up to a cats tongue up your nose. Here's to a good day!
#exfoliatednasalpassages
October 29, 2013
Student: Mrs. Newton, you should give me candy for Halloween.
Me: I'll give you candy when you pass my class.
Student to self: I'm never gonna get candy...
#onedayyouwillthankmeorhateme
October 30, 2013
It's been a full month today since my amazing husband left, which means it's been a full month today since I've lifted a finger in this house.
#worstwifeever
October 31, 2013
Well, I bought candy for the trick-or-treaters, but they didn't come to the house, which was a good thing because I ate the candy for the trick-or-treaters.
#bitesizecandyhasbitesizecalories
Until next time, my friends.
